lots of things...

okay. so here is the run through of the things to discuss:
1.promise broken(again!)
2.what's wrong with me?
3.laziness


1.promise broken(again!)
-->on my very first post in this blog, i have posted there that i would not miss just a single day without posting something. i meant it. on the first time i missed posting in this blog, i neglected. "never mind, the things i've done is more important than this blog".that was one thing i told myself that day. days passed, i've missed posting for a day;2 days, 3 days...and four.

what the hell is happening to me!

just before posting this blog, i've realized something. nothing is more important than this blog for nowif i miss a single blog then that would be a great reason for me to stop posting for a while. in that small while i will be able to reach a thousand times of missing a new post. this blog is really important to me, specially that i don't express my state of being to other people. I AM DUALISTIC.i need this blog, and writing in this blog is a major component of my life that helps me forget everything.(*sigh)

2. what's wrong with me?
--> hindi ko talaga alam kung anong meron sakin this year. masyado kong pinagpipilitang sumali sa lahat-lahat. pinagpipiltan kong maging kilala sa lahat ng aspeto. ako ba ang my may mali sa buhay ko o yung mga taong nakapaligid sa akin at walang sawa sa pagpuna sa mga pagkukulang bilang isang ESTUDYANTE? masama bang gumawa ng isang bagay na gusto mo? ang alam ko hindi! hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit kailangan nilang ipamukha sakin kung ano ako dapat. nakakainis. magkaiba po kami, uulitin ko lang. hindi niyo po pwedeng sabihin na you're expecting a lot from me, dahil hindi porke magkapatid kami eh pareho kami ng katauhan.

argh!
ayoko na!
our power v.s. their power...
...which will succeed?

the power of the people who believes that each individual is unique and different...

...or the people who thinks that talent is passed through each people's blood?

3.laziness
-->sinalihan ko lahat. i've joined every contest in the academic week. not because i still wanna prove something but because i want this. i want this so badly. i simply love everything. but, i still don't understand why in some point of my personality, i easily stop...and be lazy. ANDAMI KAYANG MADADAMAY.KALA MO!. grabeh.

exhausted na uli itong kaawa-awa kong utak

-->i've learned na...dapat lang noh! ayoko nang maisip pa kung ganu kawalang-awa tong mundong to. mula sa bawat tao, estudyante, guro hanggang sa gobyerna....

**(ayoko muna gumawa ng prayer ngayon, medyo masama pa yung kalagayan ng utakko eh...pangit naman kong magdadasal ako ng masama naman yung laman ng utak koh)(sori)

dOconfusedOb